SteinsDawn
by IcheBins
Summary: What is used to define utopia? The good of one person? The good of 5.7 billion people? Mad scientist Kyouma Hououin doesn't care about the later. Neither does Okabe Rintarō. Now he is reaching out for his personal utopia - 5.7 billion people be damned.
1. Black rain

**Disclaimer: _I don't own any of the used material. It's sole purpose is for entertainment and I'll remove the script if asked by any parties_ concerned.**

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><p><em>Steins;Gate - the all-perfect worldline - utopia of the future. All mankind united, no more diseases, no more hunger-pains, bloodshed no more - war no more. All plaques of mankind eventually cleansed - the Promised Land come real.<em>

With no need for military research all available resources went to further improve the climatic conditions, to emend the damage done to nature and environment and to finally rectify the mistakes of the past - of the impure centuries - as they now were referred to. And then: The big boom of science - everybody working together not to trump each other but to make earth a better place, to make living more worthwhile. To implement the utopia religion always preached, this time with no strings attached or conditions unfit of any god-brought world.

The technological change came like a cleansening rain washing away pollution of any kind and gratitude. For men it seemed like the awakening from a nightmare to a reality so pure and perfect one wouldn't ever dare to dream again.  
>For all but one. The One. A man with the ability to switch between the lines. A might referred to as Reading Steiner. Because of this ability - he had seen it all.<p>

Seen a girl of 16 years meet her end time after time after time - always exactly the same moment - to the smallest digit imaginable.

Seen a woman throw away her life serving a puppeteer dangling from other's strings, loathing her own existence chasing after a phantom her broken mind held onto with all it's might and desperation.

Seen an daughter traveling times having fled from life forsaken to life forsake - never to aquire a normal daughter's existence - vacating herself for a greater good never to actually come.

And seen a girl forced to kill her own father for the sake of her onesided love - never to receive her feelings returned.

These are but examples for everything the One has seen - has lived through on his own end. There were more. Many more. And to make it all right - as it was promised to him - he changed things. Time and time again, enduring pains unimaginable and truly suffering alone.  
>But now for what? 5.7 billion people didn't die in a world war. 5.7 billion people didn't fear under a surveillance state. 5.7 billion people weren't her.<p>

And now the drops started tapping on his shoulders - on his body - on his soul. A rain made up of a whole world's tears of gratitude, a rain to cleanse the pollution not only from the environment, from nature, but from every being walking on it's surface, breathing it's air and feeling it's warmth.

"Steins;Gate. This rain... It feels like it cleans everything. Everything" the last word barely murmured, thoughts coming to a halt

_'Everything but the polution in my heart.'_

And in his mind he concluded the actual meaning of these words.

_'Why? Why did this happen? Didn't I do everything - everything for this world to happen? All I did now seems so meaningless.'_

"I will change it all, Kurisu - I promise!"

And as he finally turned from the grave he frequented for the about 17 years his eyes skimmed over the inscriptions on the stone for the last time.

Kurisu Makise *1992-07-25 †2011-08-13

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><p><strong>Hey everyone. I haven't updated any of my stories in over a year and now I'm starting with yet another. I can imagine some people to be angry with me but seriously, my storys are not all on hiatus. Update's will eventually come. And for the moment, I hope you enjoy reading this here as much as I enjoy writing it. Short chapter, I know. But I'm just getting started. You'll see. Have fun.<strong>


	2. Grey

**Disclaimer: _I don't own any of the used material. It's sole purpose is for entertainment and I'll remove the script if asked by any parties_ concerned.**

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><p>"Welcome home nyaaa"<p>

came Rumiho's greeting as she jumped her long time boyfriend. It hadn't been long after she was introduced as lab member 007 that they had become an item. He had been very absent for some time, the death of one lab member coming as quite the shock it seemed. If she herself hadn't known better she would have thought that her beloved had been fond of that other girl back then. Well, it didn't matter anyway. She would make sure to thank 004 in the after life, while her death seemed to hurt Okabe infinitly at first, she was soon to take this chance of a life-time to make him hers, consoling him and silencing the screams of his heart for love.

"Rumiho.."

he mumbled her name with a sultry voice. Rumiho didn't catch the sad undertone even after years of living together it seemed, her Cheshire Break having lost its sharpness in all this time. He remembered when he had 'awoken' to this all-perfect new world. Nothing seemed good at that time, only perfect and even better. He was so used to the horror life had been in all these world lines that he had grabbed the one he was told to pray for with every fibre of his hands.

And consequently lost grip on his most important treasure, the one human being seemingly able to catch him in his long fall to despair. He loved Kurisu so much, so intensly. And still he was denied his chance to even kiss her - to feel her lips once again on his - her lithe body once again in his arms.

His strong arms, they had been thin like twigs back then and still he could hold her. Nowadays his upper arms measured about 16 inches and his body was heavily muscled. Bodybuilding wasn't really his profession, but soon after Kurisus dead he had come to appreciate the numbing of thoughts during each set, the dreamlike focus on her while he was doing his cardio and the intoxicating feeling of absolute control and power when the injections traversed from the tissue into the blood circulation. Besides, it had reawakened his libido and combined with the fact that this line's Rumiho seemed more than ready to pounce at that time, he had readily provided the target in hopes he would learn to love and to move on. He simply hadn't been ready to face all these horrors again.

Still - after all this time - his heart couldn't seem to find it in itself to beat for any woman other than Kurisu.

Rumiho was sleeping now, their love-making having once again taken the better of half an hour, the afterplay easily 5 times as much. She was beautiful and loved him with all her being and for a moment he halted - wanted to reconsider - but in the end left the bed and went to one of his more private rooms. A 42 inchs CRT flatscreen monitor centering the middle of the door-opposing wall showed only static noise when Rumiho went into the room in search for her boyfriend. It seemed like he had fallen asleep watching something or another. He had even used the earphones not to wake her, Okabe was so considerate. Only when she wanted to kiss him awake his lips were cold and only than did she realize he wasn't breathing. Tears formed in her eyes, found their way to his cold, chiseled chest.

His heart would only beat for one girl. Rumiho Akiha wasn't the one.

Outside their house rain was falling softly.


	3. Memories

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the used material. It's sole purpose is for entertainment and I'll remove the script if asked by any parties concerned.**

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><p>All was fuzzy and dream-like when consciousness finally returned to Okabe. It felt like he was floating but it was hard to tell, all feelings were dulled somehow. Something seemed utterly wrong and a frightful thought - more instincts than deliberate thinking - caused a momentary rush of bio-chemicals through his blood. But even with all these androgens and stress hormones flooding his system he couldn't bring himself to anything more than opening his eyelids, he felt more asleep than awake, the dream-like quantity completely coating all and any sensations while, by all means, his body should have been super aware with all that stuff pumping through his veines. For but the slightest of moments his eyes focused on the enormous event right in front of him, his muzzy brain slowly trying to connect the white-silver swirl with the low buzzing sound in the infinite sea of black he seemed to float abroad.<p>

In a final effort he snapped his eyes open again and focus returned, his brain seemed to kickstart into at least normal fast thinking and on its border he could feel a headache pushed aside for the time being. He felt his heart racing, his blood overloaded with hormones and on the border of awareness he was questioning his drowsy state. It didn't matter thought, his consciousness was more than only preoccupied with the white swirl or spiral that the only noise in the otherwise deafening silence seemed to originate from. He wanted to raise his hand into its direction but his brain came up with a similar image from years back. It has been so long ago but right this instant he remembered this similar occasion from 17 years back in full clarity. Back then, first his arm was jellified, then himself. He had died back then, had felt it, known it with such a certainty that the awakening on the lab couch had left him confused by this apparent dream. He had also heard her voice back then, talking about the event horizon and he was sure to have identified that thing before him with now. She, too, had talked about the stretching of time - a second to infinity - and in this moment between life and certain death he finally remembered what had really happened before this dream-like occurance he had awoken at that time.

_"Mayuri! No!" rang Okabe's voice through the lab, the girl bleeding in front of him having been shot in the head mere seconds ago. Everybody was shocked, Daru being the first to recover screaming and charging at the woman holding the 9mm handgun, he himself turning his head to see his best friend's body being violated by bullets leaving the full automatic submachine guns of the goons surrounding the lab members. A shark pain in his neck and falling from his knees to the floor, the amaranthine eyes of Kurisu Makise measuring his lying form before everything went black. It seemed Suzuha had been right all along, he had been blind by his feelings to recognize her as what she had truly been - SERN's spy._

_He came to during night in a foreign room, moon light falling through the gaps in the venetian blinds providing the only illumination. He was confused for a moment, felt the back of his head pounding and the sore muscles in his neck, before the events from earlier that day came rushing back to his mind. Where the hell was he? Shouldn't he be a convict of SERN? When he set up nausea hit him abruptly. Just then he started to get completely aware of his surroundings. He was sitting on the edge of a double bed, had about two feet to the wall that was covered in full lenght windows. The floor was carpeted and the apartement was really high up since he could oversee about all of the city stretching onto the horizon, city lights sparkling from beneath. He turned his head and made out a wardrobe on covering the entire opposing wall, a floor lamp standing right next to the beds other end. Just then two lithe arms encircled his bare rib cage down to his waist. With that action two realisations were pushing themself to the forefront of his mind: he was naked; and he wasn't alone. An all to familiar voice whispered into his ears:_

_"So you are finally awake O-ka-be-kun."_

_The voice was sultry and laced and the intonation left less to the imagination._

_"Kurisu." Okabe breathed her name._

_It seemed to send shivers through her body and his mind registered her state of complete undress by the feel of her skin pressing against his. When her arms lessened their hold he forcefully turned around and trapped her under his body, his hands holding down her wrists on the sides of her head. It probably hadn't been possible if this action had not completely caught her off-guard but that didn't matter at this moment. He held the upper hand._

_"You. You.. YOU!" he said and was louder by the word - basically screaming at the end._

_She was just laying still under him, looking right back into his eyes and smiling in a way that made his heart skip a beat. Closing his eyes for a moment before opening them with renewed resolve he spat.  
>"You killed them."<em>

_A second later and in response to her widening smile he demanded_

_"Why? What did we do? Why did you rat us out? What about." _

_He bit his lip at that. He couldn't ask. God why did he love her? She was the reason Mayuri and Daru were dead. He looked to the side, eyes closed, tears forming and silently trickling down from his face. His grip around her wrists tightened and she started to feel pain from it. Still her smile widened even more. She once again whispered in this sultry, laced voice._

_"They don't matter. All that matters is that you are here with me."_

_At that he opened his eyes again and snapped his face to face hers. She held her head up a bit, eyes closed, mouth slightly opened and ready. He couldn't reply in words, the shock having numbed his system he found himself falling back to the most primative of instincts. Tongues were circling and stroking each other in wet, long-drawn kisses, Kurisu was softly moaning under him and he was grunting as they both pumped their hips in perfect union, explored each others body and delved into one of the oldest passions of mankind. An act this pure and beautiful, perfectly harmonizing should have never been possible for two people for their first time, let alone two virgins. But these two were special, both driven completely by instincts and lust alone, conscious thoughts pushed aside to the darkest depths of ones minds._

_With his release reality came crashing back to him. He didn't know what to do, what to say. Was disgusted by himself and at the same time felt a primitive contentment in his actions. Kurisu simply mumbled his name and three words so unlikely in this situation but the last 24 hours had been more than bizarre enough that when he registered them he simply closed his eyes and began stroking her hair. Snuggled against him and soflty purring in satisfaction by his actions she drifted off to a blissful sleep. He followed soon after._

_"Okabe, I love you."_

_"I love you, too."_


	4. SERN

_**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the used material. It's sole purpose is for entertainment and I'll remove the script if asked by any parties concerned.**_

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><p><em>Once the time machine was completely safe and tested to the fullest, everything would change for the better. From that point on, it should be childs play to overcome the boundries of humanity, to guide cumbersome evolution, to become god heralding life and forming earth the way it should have been. And once it was all done, it ultimately fell to her to denominate this new world of order and science like customs demanded. The name she had already decided uppon. But still, before this all-perfect and all-new world did come into fruition<em>,_ there were tests to run, techniques to hone, data to emend, people to kill. In the name of science._

_"Here, put this on." with that she handed him a seemingly new lab coat. Among all of her coworkers, eyebrows high, one asked the inevitable question:_

_"Why?"_

_"It seems fitting." was all her reply._

_He just looked at it, then -with a sigh- folded the package open and slung the coat over his slender frame, slipping his arms through the sleeves in a seamless, noticable practised fashion. Some of the scientists around blinked at that. Not that she acknowledged them as such at all. In her mind, besides her, he was the only person in the whole facility worthy of the garment._

_"What now, Kurisu? Do you bring me in for Jellymans report right away or do you intend to give me a tour of the base first?" he asked her, a slight tremble in his otherwise steady voice barely audible._

_"You would like that, right, Okabe-kun? Why don't you simply tag along?" she stated, then started walking, a perplexed Okabe Rintarō, stumbling into place just a step behind her only a moment later. _

_One of her coworkers came into her path, arms crossed and ranting about proper procedure or lack thereof. With a simple gesture of her hand, the man paled and dropped to the floor, leaving red marks on the otherwise spotless tiles and multiple gunshots breaking the humming of the machines framing the walls. Okabe's eyes just trailed the body for a second, maybe two, before snapping up and fixing on her smile, face turned in his direction and eyes beaming at him._

_"Let's go, Okabe-kun."_

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><p><em>He had awoken next to her naked form, eyes observing him curiosly, a loving smile gracing her plush lips.<em>

_They made love again._

_Then they have had egg, bacon and toasted bread for breakfast._

_She went showering, he waited._

_After exiting the shower, he was met by armed and armored men._

_He was given a white shirt and white slippers._

_And led away, her walking next to him._

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><p><em>Now she was really giving him a tour of the base - facility.. whatever. Okabe noted, that she seemed exited like a child presenting something to their friends, eyes shining and her voice sounding honestly happy with a tinge of pride, always hesitating just a second to observe his reactions before continuing. It was cute and he would have liked to see her like this in a different world-line. Preferable one, where he wouldn't die within hours at best.<em>

_"We are here..." Her voice was soft and carried sadness._

_"Thank you, Okabe, for everything. I wish, there was a different way"_

_"There is, Kurisu! You don't have to do this! We can both go to a different world-line - we can be happy together! To Steins;Gate!" he was loud, trying to change her resolve one last time._

_"No, Okabe. It is still a long way, but in time, this world-line will come to be Steins;Gate. I promise."_

_"No..." his reply was weak, somehow hallow and sad at the same time._

_"I love you, Okabe-kun. I'm sorry." and with that she gestured the guards to take him away. An experiment had to be run, after all. Some tears escaped her eyes, falling on the clean, spotless tiles down below. Maybe under different circumstances, could she have taken him up on his offer. But she couldn't, not in this world-line anyway. But one thing was sure, she would never be with another man. Nobody equaled him. _

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><p><em>The mother of timetravel - Kurisu Makise - was found dead in her apartment 4 month later, one day after proclaiming 'Steins;Gate' to the governement body ruling from the very start of time. She had hung herself, asphyxiating and consequently suffocating the fetus growing in her womb.<em>


End file.
